Friday 11 May 2018

A Letter From Mom (Even Though I am no Longer With You)

I remember the first Mother's Day after my mom has passed. There was an entire holiday I felt I could not participate in anymore, an entire wall at Hallmark was no longer for me. Never again would I find her the perfect card to describe how I felt. This letter is part of a series of letters I have called "Dear Daughter". They are written to my daughters, and I have been sharing them with you from time to time. This one is written for them to read once I am gone, but actually I wrote it partly for myself from my own mom. I hope it helps your aching heart as you grieve a mom who isn't there this Mother's Day weekend.

Dear Daughter,

What I want you to know is that my love for you has no end.

From the moment I knew you were forming inside me I loved you.

I had a secret the world couldn’t see.

I treasured those moments when I carried you 

hidden away

 from harshness of this world.

It was just you and I.

The day I finally got to hold you was like no day ever before.

I had never seen a “you” before!

I saw your eyes and you looked at me.

Your tiny lips were pursed just right;

I couldn’t help but to kiss them.

I had plans and dreams with you;

Some of those plans worked out, other did not.

It wasn’t always easy though,

We haven’t always seen eye to eye;

But nothing will ever change how much I love you and treasure you.

Time passes, dear daughter, 

and as you know,

I will not always be able to walk beside you.

I will not always be close by, or even a phone call away.

You may not see me anymore,

But you need to know...

Just because you cannot see me does not mean I have forgotten you.

From the quiet moments of us the first night I brought you home,

To the moments leading up to my last breath,

Every one of those is embedded deeply into my memory bank,

a bank rich in thoughts of you.

Rest assured darling, you are still on my mind.

But there’s more you still need to know...

However we left each other, whatever words were spoken,

If it was needed, 

I have forgiven you.

You are my daughter and I your mother, 

That is bond that always offers forgiveness.

Rest peacefully knowing I do not carry that hurt with me anymore.

I love you.

Until we meet again,

Love you always and forever,


photo credit: Nikola Radojcic @ Unsplash 

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