Monday, 12 November 2018

I'm Going to 'Helicopter Parent' Like a Crazy Mother

Crazy Parenting

I can remember walking around with the newness of life growing in my belly. I had a secret that very few knew about. There was something beautiful growing in the hidden away from the public eye. Aside from the fragile life in me something else was also beginning to bloom with a fierceness I had never felt before. There was an innate sense of my need to protect my baby. I would walk cautiously on the icy sidewalks, eat all the right foods, and do all those instinctive things we mothers-to-be do during our pregnancy. We know while we are carrying our children inside the safety of our bodies that we are to protect and offer a place of shelter while our tiny babes develop, but the moment they inhale their first breath the world begins to offer its councel. 

Sooner or later, and most likely the former over the latter, we are told to let go. To linger, to protect, to shelter, to do what we instinctively want to do is frowned upon. The same instinct that told us to eat healthy foods while pregnant is still at work to tell us to hang on, but we begin to doubt those feelings. Names like Helicopter Parent, Lawnmower parent, and over-protective begin to pop up, and we begin to think maaaayyybe, and perhaps against our better judgment, we could let go a little. So we loosen our grip a little more, and a little more.

Not today mamas! I am not taking the bait and eating the counterintuitive lies anymore. I am going to helicopter parent like a crazy mother and you can’t tell me otherwise. Here’s why...

There is a sacredness of parenthood that is being overlooked in our culture. God gave my children to my husband and I. They are not the ownership of the state (as some laws are attempting to imply), nor are they ownership of teachers, peers, or their community. He entrusted these tiny little souls into our hands as a most precious gift. It is up to us to train them, teach them, equip them, and encourage them. (Proverbs 22:6) It is up to me to be cautious, not paranoid, but cautious of who can influence them, and to be continually seeking the peace of God to guide me in this role.

We are raising arrows (Psalm 127:3-5), but let us not forget that as adults we are already on the battlefield. There is a battle that is ramping up for the ownership of our children and their budding young minds. I am not willing to drop my shield and allow my child to be swept away by a confused culture that is claiming to protect them one minute and parading the streets for the right to kill the unborn the next. I absolutely refuse to take the advise from a culture who calls evil good, and good evil.

Woe to those who call evil good
    and good evil,
who put darkness for light
    and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
    and sweet for bitter!
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes,
    and shrewd in their own sight! (Isaiah 5:20-21)

I am to be an image bearer of the One who gave my children the very breath of life. The Creator of all things who knew my children have a role to play in his plans. How can I reflect God’s love if I am quick to push my children to someone else? How can I show my children that God is always there...ALWAYS...all we need to do is say “help”? Would Jesus have cried “Abba” if he doubted the nearness of his Father?

If my children fall I will reach for them, if they cry I will hold them, if they achieve I will be joyful for them. This is the call of the Church to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15) How much more so should this be seen within God’s ordained family unit? 

It is my hand I want my children to reach for, not a stranger, because it is my job to take their outstretched hand and place it back firmly into the hand of God. I want them to see that I am here to reflect the outreached hand of their Heavenly Father. My hope is that they never underestimate the nearness of God’s love, protection, and provision for their lives because I failed in my position to show them the character of God in the best way an imperfect mother can.

Yes moms, you CAN shelter your kids. You can protect them while they build up their saltiness and their little lights become brighter. Not only can you, but you ought to before their little lights are snuffed out.

You have permission to hang on tightly to your kids, not because I said so, but because God said so.

And just in case you are afraid your kids may think you are smothering them I’ll leave you with this. I asked my oldest two if they felt either their daddy or I stick by too close. My beautiful nine year old replied like this: 

“No mom, I like that you’re close! I need you to be. It reminds me of the story of the disciples on the boat when they were scared from the storm. They cried for Jesus to help them, and He did. You’re like that.” 

Bingo! Now go helicopter!


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photo credit: Gratisography @

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